Royallyoutfitted.
Memoirs

April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 March 2012 April 2012

Tuesday, April 01, 2008, 2:54 AM

I'm mad, I'm upset, I'm frustrated, and I'm looking for a target to take out all my aggressions on. Nobody is safe around me. So consider yourself warned.

You are a sweet, kind, loving person. Believe it. But me? I've always been the soft hearted one, yet I'm mean. I'm mean to the bone..

I've been hoping for it to be an April Fool joke. Anticipate the day to come and when it strikes midnight, I'll receive a call "April Fool!!". And I'll finally stop crying, heave a deep sigh of relief & thank God that it was only a joke. I don't care if it is a very hostile one, at least I get to hear what I want to hear. But it all came crashing down after midnight, said something that brought me far away from contentment. It was sooner than I thought, thanks for finally letting me know anyhow.

Of course I can choose to be strong, but it reminded of the time when I did, it didn't do me any good at all. People will assume I'm fine but being dishonest with myself or perhaps others, has a negative impact on me.

I admit that I'm not an easy person to take care off. You should know how stubborn I am. You should know how I always want it my way. You should know that I'll stand for my rights/myself, I don't want to lose. And I was expecting the same thing, & the one thing that I really mind can't be fulfilled.

I'm sorry for being mean. I'm sorry for being the pretentious one. I'm sorry for not being able to be the person that you want me to be.

I would rather play dead than to hear the same old ass shit for the next few days. Cause it's tiring. And I would never have imagine going through these much.

There couldn't (& shouldn't) be anything worse than this to start my week and April with.